on my life as of late: im not really content with my life at the moment. im stuck in a low paying, low hours job that i dispise. i ended my first real relationship, i chipped a tooth, and my dads being a tweeker bitch.
but im realizing that its ok. i have many people who love me.
im not too healthy right now. i have no appitite, and im losing weight drastically. my cough is progressing too.
my mental stability was on the rapid decline this morning, and i cought myself doing things that were un-called for.
but, life goes on.
a closure to my relationship: i honestly dont know where to begin. i have too much to think about.
i knew that it was doomed after thie first week. after i heared about the things she had done. the fact taht she was taken when we first messed around was bad enough... but thats the least of it. after all she did, after all the hell that she put me through from the very beginning, i always ran back. i couldnt let go. i was smitten to say the least. most anyone would leave after said incidents...but i suppose i was weak and love struck.
im sure she cheated on me once. jennifer, you oblivious whore. but, i gave shannon the benefit of the doubt.
she thought she could play me like a pawn time and time again. and i suppose she did. because i had faith in her. now, im full of contempt, and my grudge is running strong, as it would be for anyone in such a situation.
my friends came out with honesty. none of them really liked her, and in fact, they considered her to be a whore. all of them congratulate me for ending it. they say i should be happy just because i got laid all so often.
she will run back to jennifer. she always does, because she knows that jennifer will always come back. i mean, she fucked jens boyfriend, and jennifer still ran right back. once again, youre an oblivious fool girl. then shannon will find someone new, leave jennifer...and then leave her relationship easily much like she did with me. why so easily? because she knows that she will always have a backup. shannon, jennifer will not always be there to fall back on.
never again will i date someone so unworldly. never again will i date someone as co-dependant. never again will i date someone so shallow. (yet she attempts words of depth daily in her writing.) shannon, i know that you honestly want to be a good person, but you fail. you have caused nothing but destruction in your path for all too long now. and you need to realize this, and fix it. but first, you need to accept that everything you do, is entirely too selfish. obviously, you never had any respect for me, or else you wouldnt think i was stupid enough to fall in your trap. i saw something in you that i thought no one had seen. and i gave you a chance to right yourself, and lead a good life. but as i already said, you fail. you have one person left in your life now. and all she will do, is try in vain to control you. it seems as if everyone has run away from you. and its seemingly for good reason. hold on tight, for you may just end up losing everything.
youre going to have a hard unfulfilled life at this rate. and relationships will never work, unless you know what it is that you want.
with that said, she is officially in my past.
i just weep for whoever is in her future. because if she doesnt change, they will be screwed.
gnight kids. thanks to everyone and their support.